Hello my pets!
Yes. I know. I know it's been approximately three thousand years since I have last written (yes that was technically correct).
BUT I HAVE THE BEST EXCUSE/REASON/JUSTIFICATION EVAR.
I forgot my password. To ALL my gmail accounts! And although generally Google is pretty chill and happy to be in a relationship with me, on attempted recovery of my password we had some issues to work through. Firstly it thought I was trying to hack in and steal bitches money, then it thought i wasn't who I said I was, he thought I was seeing other browsers etc etc...
I think in the end it was just too embarrassed to realise that it was wrong and give me the damn password. After mediation with an impartial third party, the lovely tech savy Kate, we worked it out, and things are once more a motion-picture-flowery-meadow-of-google-and-Sophia-eternal-love.
LIKE I WOULD CHEAT ON GOOGLE WITH INTERNET EXPLORER ANYWAY.
I wouldn't let that browser 'explore' me even if he promised no YouTube adds. Bitch please. Can II provide me with Jonny Depp browser backgrounds? NO. Didn't think so. NOT INTERESTED BUDDY.
Now I'm having deep and meaningful creative thoughts about the logistics of a computer-person relationship. Possible? Probable? Perfect?
Well, it would be handy for setting the mood. Like you know how you listen to a song and your all like "OMG THIS IS THE PERFECT SONG FOR WHEN I MARRY THAT GUY THAT LOOKED AT ME ONCE FROM ACROSS THE STREET ILY JEROME!!!" ? Dating Google, he would obviously be the baus of YouTube, and he would set dat mood RITE. Having a cuddly moment? Bon Iver. Having some lols? Search up dat Kreyshaun. Your entire life would be sound tracked and delightful and then I could maybe finally achieve the life goal of living The Notebook. Yes.
HAHA AND SO MANY GOOD JOKES TO MAKE
"Baby, you can delete your history with me any day ;)"
"Error 301? Damn. I must be getting a little overheated...your gonna need to restart my system OH YEAH"
"I love the sound of your keystrokes. Want to hear mine....?"
Actually but on that note, history. Could get awks. I'm a pretttty open person except about really deep personal stuff, but even I recognise that there are boundaries in info sharing. You do not just walk up to an acquaintance and tell them about the crazy animal porn you were watching last night. IF YOU DATED GOOGLE....YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO SAY IT.
He would just know.
As soon as you walked into aforementioned hypothetical room, he would just look at your with his screen-brightened eyes and JUDGE YOU.
And you probably deserve to be judged if you were watching that, that's just nasty haha.
ANYWAY must be off to WOZ rehearsals...I will post some actual writing on here sooner or later :) kbye