Sunday, 17 June 2012

Drunken Ramblings

Currently in legal, dying slowly. I assumed that by taking this class I would somehow be transformed into Elle Woods – as in the hot chick from Legally Blonde – and I can only say I have experienced disappointment. The only sexy developments that have derived from me taking legal has been a ponder-ment of wondering if I could have a hypothetical law suit against me dissolved by flirting with the judge. IF I’M DESTINED TO LIVE A FEMALE LIFE OF SUBJEGATION, I MIGHT AS WELL ENJOY THE PERKS.

My teacher just said that one in five couples have difficulty having children. That’s really sad. But like, actually, think about it. Really sad. In the movie Julie and Julia, the lovely Merryl Streep and gorgeous Stanley Tucci are an older couple very much in love but for some unknown reason can’t have kids...I can honestly say that my heart broke for them a bit, as a well acted representation of a real life problem. When you think about it, it’s kind of crazy that we’re all here really. Especially Johnny Depp. His DNA aligned juuuuuuuuuuuuuuustttt rightttt.

ANYWAY, how are we all? That’s nice. I’m great thanks. Having some difficulty being at school for one more week. I highly doubt that any work shall be done by moi in the next five days BUT YOLO BRO! Instead I shall spend my waking hours baking and reading, like the raging party animal I am. T00 h@r3h 2 h@ndelll boizzzz.

Jesus, she’s still talking. WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT ME TO LEARN SO MANY THINGS L If i was a teacher, without sounding arrogent, I would be baus. My students would be keen as spleen to come to my classes. I think I would teach Extention English. History maybe, but I get really sad over emotional historical events and boundaries might be crossed if the kids have to hand me tissues and “There, there” me. And drama? Hmmm, yes perhaps drama. And all conversations must be had in either Shakesperan or Hood language register.

Me : “Good morn, my children of knowledge! Forgoe thine leafs of paper and shun thine quills, for hence we shall have a lesson of practical nature! Sir Jonothan, approach the stage with courage. Engaurde! Swipe the gloom from our eyes of culture, show us an act of glorious emotion. You are in the throes of hatred : now demonstate thus.”
Me : “Jolly well charming. A+!”

So yes, extention english would be my subject...And I would totally be a hot tilf. I would use those pointy-sticky-things to bash anyone who was ‘naughty’ and always be dropping things I have to bend over and pick up – HOW UNFORTUNATE. 10 points for each guy seduced each class. I COULD GET A STICKER CHART, YES!

Anyway, I’ve just typed this over the course of today, becuase I can learn absolutley nothing else this term. I cannot. I refuse. Let me be ignorant and dull in peace and quiet. For now my asparations are aimed at getting on Gypsy Weddings, where I can wear ugg boots and tiaras and service men's needs in the kitchen and our trailer. 

I'll be off now. I know this post has been spectacularly un-amazing, so I'll compensate for you.
Just be grateful Johnny's parents weren't the one in five I mentioned before.

Isn't that nice?
kbye xox

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