Porn With Teachers.

HELLO my little ones. All two of you.

I have only a brief comment to make this evening, which stands as thus : if possible, try not to witness sex while in the prescense of teachers.

Let me clarify. Tonight I went with my old drama class to Belvoir, where we have a group subscription much to my glee J I even wore my pretentious hipster glasses to heighten my sense of theatre-appreciation snobbery (which reminds me to wear them to the Scarlett Pimpernell). So, yeah, the play begins, all good, no dramas, no-one is self harming, using EXTREMELY foul language, causing violence, using intravenous drugs, chilling on stage naked, having boundary-line consensual sex or committing assisted suicide. However, by the end of the play, LITTERALLY ALL THAT HAPPENED. NO JOKE.

...IT WAS FABULOUS!

To be perfectly honest, the language presented no shock value at all as my own diction is simliar to an angry drunken sailor (But where’s the rum? THE RUM IS GONE). The nudity didnt freak me out becuase I was in a bad seat so I couldnt see – not that I wanted to, the lady that disrobed was of the 45+ variety which always means disurbing sag bags < example of sailor talk. The drugs made me lol, violence was only minimal to be honest, and the suicide was extremely emotive so I was down with it. I get really into things like this, I cry over everything...Even listening to certain songs I tear up! I saw The Notebook with Kate for the first time a few weeks ago, and there is VIDEO FOOTAGE of the emotional damage caused. I think most of that was built up stress over seeing Ryan Gosseling shirtless though....ANYWAY!

SO the final issue, the sex scene. YAH. YEP. RIGHT. EXCELLENT.  Everyone could tell it was coming at least. You know how you have sex sometimes SPRUNG upon you? Like, you will be watching something innocent, like Asian porn, then you flick channels and people are making out on Gossip Girl and your parents walk in and judge you – “NO GUYS, I swear I was watching the GOOD QUALITY stuff before you came in.”

Haha, that reminds me, look at this at 2:39 for a relevant note of lol : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWdUcx0lgz0

Just watch the whole thing, it’s hilarious.

ANYWAY! So the tension was building, and everyone saw it coming which was both good and bad becuase we weren’t shocked but we also couldn’t pretend to ignore the fact that a 25 year old pothead and a 14 year old terminally ill girl were about to get it on. Mid-scene – though it didn’t last very long, disappointing performance upon his behalf. Although, if it went for a realistic amount of time then the silence of the audience contrasting to all the...sounds....coming from onstage would have just become LOLLABLEY awkward. As if it wasnt awkward already. ANYWAY – so Mid-scene I look over at the teachers and They. Are. Dying. So badly. SO SO SO BADLY. If two people wern’t having loud sex on stage then I probably would have been laughing at their faces. AS IT WERE HOWEVER, THE SEXY NESS WAS GOING IN RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES. And it was impossible to look away. I had to check they were pretending to have sex because the sounds accompanying it could have been interpreted in a number of disturbing ways, ie, microwaving a hamster. 

And damn, let me just say, I don’t usually have a thing for these Lol-I’m-Heading-For-Jail-Within-The-Next-Decade-For-Stealing-A-Spoon-To-Dig-A-Hole-To-Bury-That-Guy- I- Killed-For-Crack-Money ,  types of guys but this pothead character was BANGING to steal a word from Hannah. Not gonna lie, those abs kept me interested for the whole show. In fact minus the abs, and all you really have is an inapropriate show that featured an old woman flashing.

BEST. SHOW. EVER.

ANYWAY! I just felt like writing that, I’m not expecting anyone to care haha okaybye

Dead man walking,

Dead man talking,

Sitting on the side-walk

His future baulking. 

The present lies dead

Already entombed  in the past

Every thought lasts a day

Every dream is his last. 

Change is in his pocket rather than his heart

With a sigh he knows it's an impossible start

But day and night for a life he'll sit there yet

Hoping, one day, he'll be able to afford a Chevy Corvette.